When You’re the One You Can’t Let Down🦋

A Midweek Check-In with My Writer Self

Happy Wednesday, all you Lovely Souls!

I did it!

What did I do? I put my phone down and left the house to get some work done.

I’ve been saying I was going to start going somewhere other than the house to work on my novel — or even my blog — and today, I actually did it.

After breakfast and a fun call with my sister, I sat down on the couch — and the next thing I knew, I was down a rabbit hole as deep as Alice’s in Wonderland.

I have a deadline. Sure, it’s self-imposed… but aren’t those the most important?

I must get my editing done this week, and sitting on the couch getting lost in videos (even writing tip videos) is not helping. I’ve also been waiting until late at night to start editing, which means I’ve only been getting a few pages done at a time.

Yesterday I barely got anything done. By the time I got up, completed my morning routine, went to and from physical therapy, let the dogs out, greeted my sweetheart, and sat down — the headache I’d been telling to go away all morning was pounding even harder. And focusing on written words (paper or screen) with a throbbing head? Not so fun.

Today, Wednesday, started off like every other day:

I got up later than I’d like, fed the dogs, made breakfast for my sweetheart, had a call with my sister and niece… and by then, my time was up. (I have to wait about an hour after taking my thyroid medication — and another — before I can eat.)

So once I ate, I did what I usually do. I sat on the couch to figure out what I was going to do first (believe it or not, I do have a list).

Exercise. Draw. Paint. Edit. Write. Read. Nap. Clean. Reorganize a room.

The list goes on.

But what did I actually do? None of those.

Since I still have a headache, I could’ve just taken a nap and hoped it would help.

But no — I got mad at myself. I had a few choice words (lovingly spoken, of course), packed a backpack, let the dogs out to potty, told my sweetheart I was leaving… and I left.

I’m currently sitting in our favorite coffee shop, writing this post — which I’ll be ending shortly so I can start editing. I’ve also made a promise to myself: for the rest of the week, I will leave the house to work. Not just say I’m going to… I actually will.

Though I think I’ll switch up my location and go to the local library — less temptation for fruity drinks and pastries!

Anyhow, I’m closing this post with a thought for you…

If you set a deadline or goal for yourself and don’t keep that commitment,

is it just as disheartening as letting someone else down?

Does it chip away at your confidence? Does it make you more hardened… or more doubtful?

For me, I get frustrated and upset — not just because I’m letting down the people who support me,

but because I’m letting myself down.

My dreams.

My little girl me… teenage me… young adult me.

All the dreams they once had – could die.

Someone asked me recently why I write.

And the answer is: I write for me.

For my dreams. For my voice. For my desires.

Me.

Now I’m signing off — and I hope your days are filled with love, laughter, hugs, and blessings.

Be kind, be wise, and be true to yourself. ❣️