Recently, I was asked to write a story based on my experiences—my ups and downs, life’s valleys and peaks. Dreams coming true or burning in the flames created by fear.
It’s way easier to talk about these things than to actually write them down. And, of course, I’ve been putting it off. I’ve known I needed to get this done for weeks, yet here I am, down to the deadline, and I’ve only written two words.
So, what am I doing writing my blog instead of meeting my deadline? Am I scared to put those things out into the world? Maybe…
My story will be a comparison to the Phoenix. I’m pretty sure most people know about the Phoenix, but here’s a quick refresher. The Phoenix—just like the one in that famous movie about a boy wizard battling evil—is a beautiful bird that dies and is then reborn from the ashes.
Writing my history, my struggles and my life—for the world to see isn’t easy. I’ve done it recently, and if you’re one of my readers, you may have already seen that post.
So, I’ll stop here, pull on my big-girl britches, and go write the paper. I’ll add it to this post when I finally publish it—not on Wednesday, like my usual posting day, but tomorrow. Thursday. (Not sure what time, but sometime tomorrow.)
Although, since you’re reading this now, that means it’s already tomorrow. So… enjoy.
Here it is … I hope you enjoy it.
I Am The Phoenix ~ Written By: Dorey Nolan
Dreams are born with hope, love, and a desire to live a full life.
As children, we are full of dreams that, if nourished, have the potential to bloom into a beautiful existence for us and those around us. In a perfect world, these dreams would flourish, filling our lives with love and endless possibilities.
Reality, however, is often quite different. Dreams, goals, hopes, and desires—at any stage of life—are subject to the opinions and ridicules of others. As humans, we long to be accepted and will often give up on ourselves just to make others happy.
Our lives are often not completely our own. Fear can be a controlling factor in our choices, fear of not being accepted, not being loved, not being wanted. Fear of being seen for our faults rather than the purity within our souls.
Fear has been my decision-maker for most of my life. I have given up things I loved and enjoyed because others didn’t see their worth, substance, or believed they were a waste of time. Sadly, I fell into the trap of believing that others knew what was best for me better than I did.
As a child, I dreamed of being a creative soul. I loved writing, art, modeling, singing, and even acting. If it involved creativity, I wanted to be a part of it.
Even at the young age of four, I would model for anyone who made the mistake of saying they wanted to see my new dress. I modeled a little as a teenager and as an adult for photographer friends—only to have others tell me, time and time again, that it was a silly dream. That I’d never make it because I was too short, too young, too old, too heavy, too ugly, too me. That no one would ever want to hire me.
Dream burned to ashes…
I loved drawing as a child. I would sketch animals, flowers, and trees. To be an artist, to create my own worlds—a future filled with color—was a dream I clung to. Yet I was told my art wasn’t good enough, that I was wasting my time. Art is a talent, and you don’t have it. It’s not something you can just learn. Give it up.
Dream burned to ashes…
In high school, I sang in my school choir, my church choir, and later, a little with my dad’s band. I was mostly in the background, but I had hopes that this dream would grow into something more. Instead, I developed a fear of the stage. I was told that because I didn’t sound like others—like someone “professional”—I should give it up. No one wants to hear you. You’re nobody. Not even good enough for the church band. Don’t waste your time.
Dream burned to ashes…
Writing was another way I could create worlds and let my voice be seen. As a teenager, I longed to have my stories told and read by everyone, to become a well-known, published author. But I doubted whether people would truly want to hear my thoughts. Self-doubt and fear took hold, strengthened by the voices of naysayers.
Dream burned to ashes…
Yet, like the Phoenix, which dies over and over again only to rise from the ashes — so do I. The Phoenix accepts its role in life, and I believe has a type of control of its death and rebirth.
Every dream, hope, and desire I had as a child, as a teenager, and even as the adult I am now has risen over and over.
Looking back on each stage of my life, I see now that I was the one in control of my fear—not others. I allowed it to take hold and keep me from doing what I loved. Every time I took a step toward my dreams; I allowed myself to be held back in some way.
But as I have matured—now standing at the threshold of my crone stage of life—I see that each of my dreams has come to life in some way. Some have already come true, while others are still unfolding.
They had to burn to be reborn to their full potential.
I modeled.
I sang (and still do, occasionally—with friends or in the car).
I AM an Artist.
I AM a Published Author.
My art and books are out in the world, ready for those who want them.
I am a Phoenix.
I have died over and over—only to be reborn from the ashes to create my dreams stronger and better than before.
I am a Phoenix.
We are Creatively Unlimited! 
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