In Loving Memory: Axel’s Final Journey

A rainbow is created when light from the sun is scattered by water droplets through a process called refraction.

My belief is that the rainbow bridge, to me, is created from all the tears shed by broken hearts when their beloved pets pass. The angels cry as well because an innocent soul that loved unconditionally has left the earth.

Tears create the bridge…

Today, the bridge grew brighter and larger. My big baby Axel crossed that rainbow bridge. My sweetheart and I had to make an extremely hard decision. Axel had pretty much stopped eating, was having trouble walking, experiencing cognitive issues, shivering, and beginning to whine more. He had a few potty mishaps, and his weight went from 89lbs to 77lbs in around two months. I tried cooking him burgers, chicken, eggs, and hot dogs. As well as buying various types of canned dog food. He might eat a little but the next day he wouldn’t eat. Tried an appetite stimulant – that he did not like and refused several times (even hidden in a pup cup).

Did we make the right decision? I can only pray we did. It was not an easy one, that is for sure. I watched a video on the “Lap of Love” website and printed out their “Assessment” forms. It helped and doing the assessment also helped. Did it make the decision easier? Maybe, a little. My head hurts from going over and over that question, “Did we do the right thing?” Yes, still second-guessing myself. Could we have waited a little longer, done more, and created a longer bucket list for him. Maybe! Again, I can only hope and pray we did the right thing at the right time. We held him as he left this plane and journeyed across the rainbow bridge. He went so peacefully. He didn’t struggle when they put the IV in and he even kissed me goodbye. I feel he was ready, whether I was or not.

My eyes hurt because I can’t seem to stop crying for long, and my heart aches because it is broken into pieces… again. This was not my first baby going over the bridge or the first that I have held as they left this world. He won’t be the last either. Each one hurts so much and is a special loss all their own. Axel was my gentle giant, not a mean bone in his body. Just a pure love bug.

Right now, I am missing my big guy way more than I anticipated. The house is too quiet. I had one less bowl of food to fix. Less hair to vacuum up. No one whining at me to go out every 15 minutes or to come downstairs because I had taken too long to change clothes or go to the bathroom. No shadow following me to do the laundry. No ride buddy to pick up groceries or coffee. He won’t be at my feet as I write or attend meetings. I can’t move his bed, blanket, or food bowls – not yet. As I write this, his empty bed is next to me, and my eyes are filling up again, My sweetheart tries to hug the sorrow away, it helps. But as I told a friend who also recently said goodbye to a beloved pet – “The heartache doesn’t really go away it only hides until a memory comes to visit.” Please, hug your fur babies and love on them often ~ because it’s never enough.

 The rainbow bridge became much brighter today.

 R.I.P. Axel ~ 2011 to November 1, 2024, I miss you, my sweet big boy. Sweet dreams, Axel.

Axel’s two favorite things were the treat of riding in the car and getting a pup cup.

A special thank you to our veterinarian and his staff at Pets-R-Us in Smyrna. They were kind and compassionate. They allowed me to stay as long as I could with my big guy (before and after), and they didn’t rush me. I didn’t notice but my sweetheart told me they put a candle out at the front desk in remembrance and asked those coming in to lower their voices in respect of our loss. They gave us a sweet condolence card with a seeded heart to plant in honor of Axel and some of his hair in a small decorative vile. The staff also set up the cremation with Pet Angel Crematorium. 🙏