Apologies Everyone and to Me

I want to start by apologizing to anyone who may have hoped to read a new blog from me in the past few years. I really have to get motivated – Again. Next, I want to apologize to myself for not writing here on my blog until now. I was doing OK at first and then hit a several-year dark patch. Not that I wasn’t busy, I was. At first, I was working and going to school full-time. Then I quit my job (due to a crazy CEO) story for another time. Then the pandemic hit and the temp to perm job I was working let me go because I had a cold. Even with a doctor’s note saying that it wasn’t COVID they didn’t care. They said it was for my own good and let me go. So now I was only going to school. Did I have time to write? Why, yes I did. Did I write? Well, no I did not. I let school, mainly math bring me down and stress me out. I did end up seeing a doctor because of memory issues. Guess what is one of the major causes of that, guess, I bet you won’t get it. Stress was and still is the majority of the thing causing memory issues. I did have several self-administered concussions (all accidental), but still concussions all the same. But the main issue – STRESS, and it’s not necessarily from current stress. I could and probably did stress about something 20-plus years ago and it’s still affecting me in a way today. The residue it left became the ground floor for other stress to build on until it took a toll on brain cells, causing the issues that some (including me) deal with. Unfortunately, there are those that are misdiagnosed as having dementia or Alzheimers and sometimes it is. I was lucky enough that my doctor knew his stuff and I had my brain tested. It showed only STRESS as the culprit. Now, why did I go into all that, because instead of working on things, I have to admit I got bogged down with worry (which doesn’t help the brain) and then there began the procrastination loop.

I did however get one book published, have two illustrators working on others, and have several others started. I just HAVE to get out of the loop and get things done. I also have two art projects due by the end of April. Now it may sound like a lot but actually, I don’t think it is, that is IF I were in the right mind frame. Which is not exactly where I am just yet. For example, you have two wheels on the road and two on the shoulder. You keep driving but keep getting pulled more toward the shoulder and so something feels a bit off. I am the driver of that car. LOL. I’ll get back on the road, I just wish it was now. I have deadlines and I’m not reaching them. That is another reason for an apology. One thing on my list of things to do is to write at least one blog post a month. Yes, it would be better for it to be weekly or better yet, daily. But if I want to keep it going and not overwhelm myself I have to take baby steps. Small bites eat a pie just as well as large bites, except you, appreciate and savor the flavor more with smaller bites. And you’re less likely to choke.

With that, I apologize to us all and hope this wasn’t too much of a whiney post. Until the next post… Laters!